School: Pirates are not welcome

From Citizen-Times

Weaverville – When you’re a pirate, some dangers just come with the territory: scurvy, grog hangovers, a walk down the plank at sword point.
But being kicked out of school for a day?
Bryan Killian doesn’t think that’s a fair reaction to his decision to come to North Buncombe High School wearing an eye patch and an inflatable cutlass.
The sophomore spent Wednesday at home after an administrator took issue with his accessories.
Buncombe County Schools says the eye patch was disruptive to classroom instruction. The student’s refusal to take it off after four warnings led to discipline, the district said.
“I feel like my First Amendment was violated,” Killian, 16, said. “Freedom of religion and freedom of expression. That’s what I tried to do, and I got shot down.”
Freedom of religion?
Yes, Killian says, his “pirate regalia” is part of his faith — the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The parody religion, whose “Pastafarian” members worship a sentient, airborne clump of noodles and meatballs, originated in a letter to the Kansas school board urging it to add the religion to its plans to teach evolution and intelligent design side by side.
It became an Internet phenomenon, spawning a belief system that holds pirates to be divine beings and blames global warming on the disappearance of the buccaneers.
Satirical though it may be, Killian isn’t laughing.
“If this is what I believe in, no matter how stupid it might sound, I should be able to express myself however I want to,” he said.
An eye patch is no more disruptive than a Christian cross around one’s neck, he said.
His teachers saw it the same way, he said, but Assistant Principal Sarah Cooley didn’t. She assigned him two days of in-school suspension before calling his home to add out-of-school suspension.
“It has nothing to do with religious beliefs,” school district spokesman Stan Alleyne rushed to say when asked about the suspension. “We respect students’ religious beliefs.”
Killian’s mother, Vanessa, agreed with the school’s decision despite sympathizing with her son.
“I think Bryan should be able to voice his opinion,” she said, “but he kind of got carried away.”
Killian planned to go back to school today. He doesn’t think he’ll wear an eye patch.

Jason's snark: You know he's going to be a politician some day. And "Pastafarian?" Pass the Spaghetti-Os on the left-hand side.