Dear John Travolta and Tom Cruise,
You are hereby ordered to "unfriend" Placido Domingo Jr. because he's no longer part of the chosen ones.
That is all.
L. Ron Hubbard
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013433/Placido-Domingo-Jr-targeted-Scientologists-abandons-cult-favour-ex-wife.html
We get our fair share of odd crimes in Las Cruces.
I'd usually bring you your "Stranger Than Fiction" update with stories from the world at large, or at least out-of-state.
Much like this tale of an Indiana man who, at the direction of a bunny rabbit and other nefarious characters, sprayed lighter fluid in a store after the pharmacy wouldn't fill his 'script without him paying for it.
Go figure.
Read this gem at http://www.14wfie.com/story/15033754/epd?clienttype=printable and enjoy.
Wait! There's more!
I mentioned we've got our special brand of odd in Las Cruces. Check out the latest in our infamous nipple-ripping case.
Yes, you read that right. Sorry about that.
A family feud went awry (yes, alcohol was involved) in December, 2010, when a mother-in-law and her son's wife engaged in a tussle which ended with a nipple falling to the floor.
Awkward.
The cringe-inducing story came to an end this week with a probationary sentence for mother-in-law.
"It's still family" said the judge.
Titilating story can be seen at http://www.lcsun-news.com/ci_18411751?source=most_viewed
OK, I'm all for alternative energy sources. I'm also opposed to stepping on piles of dog poo when I go for my morning walks around the 'hood. This could be a solution that I could support on two levels. The Arizona Republic, via the Associated Press, says the doggy-doo could be magically mulched and the methane gas used as a power source.
So far, they only plan to power one street light.
Hey, it beats scraping off my shoes every morning.
Try explaining this at the body shop…
The Associated Press reports an investigation into a fatal hit-and-run in Mesa, Ariz. is missing a crucial piece of evidence.
The accident left one man in critical condition, another dead. When officers arrived to investigate, the man who was killed was missing a leg.
Police say the leg may have been imbedded in the vehicle or disposed of by the driver who killed the man and fled.
Those of you who know me know I have an unhealthy love of all things deep-fried. Especially if it can be put on a stick at a state fair. So, you won't be surprised that the latest sizzling treat I've found is deep-fried kool aid. Yes, kool aid.
This is not your dad's funnel cake, for sure.
I've written stories on every permutation of 'fried food on a stick' you can imagine - Oreos, Snickers, the regular run of meat products, even a cheesecake, skewered and dipped in sizzling fat. I offer no apologies, have
no regrets.
But this one may take the cake, so to speak.
The San Diego Tribune is touting this fat-fried sugar ball as one of the highlights at the San Diego County Fair, where one vendor sold 400 to 600 orders of deep-fried Kool-Aid per day the first weekend of the fair.
That's about double the rate of previous debut items.
"That's because it tastes so darn good," the vendor said of the gooy red snack, which looks like a technicolor doughnut hole.
Hey, Kool-Aid!! Who can argue with that?
Check out the full story here:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/jun/14/fried-kool-aid-hit-fair-chicken-charlie-says/
Here's a 'balloon boy' story that will lift your spirits.
Bobby Bradley has become the youngest pilot to solo in a hot-air balloon. And, of course, he did it in New Mexico, home to the heart of ballooning worldwide.
ABC news and the Associated press report the 9-year-old lifted off as the sun rose over the Land of Enchantment for a 26 minute float and a ride of his young lifetime. Bouncing off in Tome, near Albuquerque, he had three other balloons flying tandem, just to keep an eye out. His (apparently confident, but ever-cautious) parents told the press Bobby had only 10 gallons of fuel aboard, limiting the distance of his travel.
Read the full story (with a great photo of a safely-landed, very happy young pilot) here: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/balloon-boy-bobby-bradley-flies-heights-mexico/story?id=1376067
The Associated Press is reporting a 25-year-old woman's leg was broken when a 6-foot-long sturgeon jumped into her airboat while on a Florid River.
The Sunday accident was the fifth report of a person injured by a jumping fish this year, according to Florida Fish and Wildlive Conservation Commission officials, the AP reported.
Makes me think twice about the fillet-o-fish sandwich I had for lunch. Or, maybe, tartar sauce should be standard gear for Florida boaters.
I'd like to think we've all scarfed down a cold slice of pizza or that leftover tuna casserole out of the fridge. But one restaruant is cooking up a plan (the plan is all they are cooking, by the way) to buy your leftovers by the pound and resell them. The Kinston Free Press in Kinston, NC reports "Lefties" is opening a restaurant based on what can only be called the "You gonna eat that?" business model.
The mystery box in my fridge is scary enough. I'd prefer not to purchase your leftovers, thanks anyway.
BTW, "Lefties" apparently didn't play well in D.C. Must have been something about the name.
BONUS QUOTES: “Say you have hamburgers on Wednesday night, and there are three left over,” Ward said. “If you don’t want to eat hamburgers again that week, all you have to do is use our drive-thru window on your way to work. Someone from our staff will weigh your leftovers and pay you $1.50 per pound.”
AND: “The service is really fast because the food has already been cooked,” said Lefty’s customer Haney Ginsburg of Grifton. “I got some hamburger steak that had a few cigarette ashes on top, just like mama used to make.”
Here's a link, if you can stomach it.
http://www.kinston.com/news/restaurant-73990-warmed-column.html
From thedaily.com.au
It's official, Les Stewart has done something very bizarre.
A website which tracks odd happenings around the world, Oddee, has listed Les’ entry in the Guinness Book of World Records, as the third most bizarre world record of all time.
He spent 15 years, from 1983 to 1998, typing out all of the numbers from one to one million (in letters not numerals), simply because he “wanted something to do.”
And as far as Les is concerned, his recent recognition on the Oddee website could be his ticket to the big time.
“This is going to go all around the world,” he said.
“The (latest) Guinness Book of World Records will come out in the next month or two, so there’s going to be enormous publicity.”
But why on earth would anyone want to do what he’s done?
“It just came naturally to me,” he said.
“I got the record in 1983 for typing one to one million in numerals, but I kept on typing for 15 years after that.”
He typed for 20 minutes, “every waking hour”, on the hour until the mammoth task he had set himself was done.
But perhaps more bizarre than his world record achievement, is the fact that Les threw out all but two of the 19,890 pages he typed over those fifteen years.
“I just put them in the recycling bin, we’ve got too many things in the house,” he said.
“But I kept the first and the last page.”
Les was also named in the Guinness Book of World Records for putting the most number of stamps on a single envelope, three thousand- four hundred, to be exact.
He said he would like to continue attempting world records, but said the judging regime had become much stricter than it had been in the past.
“Any athlete will tell you, they’re getting harder every year,” he said.
But as Les said, he had probably already done his bit for the Guinness Book of World Records.
“I got my first world record in 1983 for typing, which is nearly 25 years ago, and not many Australians have done that,” he said.
“I’m a bit of a one of a kind.”
Jason's snark: Get a date, dood.
From Reuters
TALLINN - Police in the Baltic state of Estonia stopped a man who was driving erratically at the weekend, only to find he was blind.
The 20-year-old was driving in the southern city of Tartu early Sunday -- helped by instructions from his 16-year-old passenger.
"At first they thought he was just drunk, but the man kept missing the tube for the breath test, then they realized he was blind" and arrested him, Tartu Police spokeswoman Marge Kohtla said Monday.
Jason's snark: Didn't the white cane hanging out of the driver's side window tip the cops off?
Blog entry from Ryan Sabalow, Redding Record-Searchlight
"Although I don't think anyone should be out trying to prison shank sea lions, I confess I'm rather impressed that the guy could actually stab one, and in the heart, too.
With a steak knife." - Ryan Sabalow, Redding Record-Searchlight
From the AP via CNN via Fark.com:
NEWPORT BEACH, California (AP) -- A fisherman accused of stabbing a sea lion with a steak knife after the animal stole his bait has been arrested.
The sea lion, a six-foot female weighing about 150 pounds, was stabbed in the heart and was euthanized, said Dean Gomersall, animal care supervisor at the Pacific Marine Mammal Center in Laguna Beach.
"It's a horrible thing," Gomersall said. "My crew is extremely upset, and we're just glad the person was caught."
Hai Nguyen, 24, was fishing off a Newport pier about 12:30 p.m. Friday when the sea lion snatched the bait from his fishing pole.
"It was close enough so he could just reach out and stab it in the water," said Sgt. Evan Sailor, a police spokesman. "A number of people witnessed it and called police."
Jason's snark: Sabalow (one of my fave snarkers) wins with this one!
From WMC TV
MEMPHIS - A dog and a gun combined for an unlikely scenario Wednesday morning in a house in the 3800 block of Kerwood.
Investigators said it all started while a group of friends were paying a visit to the owner of King George, a Great Dane.
The dog, excited to see the visitors, knocked a small caliber handgun off a table. The gun discharged, shooting King George's owner in the back.
The man was transported to The MED in critical condition. He is expected to be ok.
King George is not expected to face charges.
Great Danes are a breed of dog known for their giant size and gentle personality.
Jason's snark: (From the "Alternate Headline" category) Great Dane King George shoots owner despite lack of opposable thumbs -and you thought 'ol George was a Brit!
From Reuters via Yahoo News
HELSINKI - A Finnish squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled eggs.
"I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, told Reuters.
The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside.
"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said.
Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added.
Squirrels have a well deserved reputation for being clever and adaptable animals. Many a home owner has seen the small rodents raiding their supposedly "squirrel-proof" bird feeders.
Jason's snark: You gotta wonder where this stash of squirrel-sized toys ends up.
From WKMG Orlando
A 55-year-old Port Orange woman who said she killed her neighbors because their "green mothball cookies" made her sick was found not guilty of murder by reason of insanity, according to a judge.
A judge signed an order committing Linda Sue Anderson to a Florida Department of Children and Families facility.
Anderson told Port Orange police that she hated her neighbors, Robert Goerlich, 70, and his wife, Shirley, 68, because their cookies sickened her.
Both were found shot to death by a neighbor at their home located at 110 Gregory Circle.
A short time after the shooting, Anderson was taken into custody and charged with first-degree murder.
During questioning, Anderson told police, "I didn't see any blood or bullet holes in their clothing. …They are over there watching TV aren't they? I was shooting blanks."
Anderson also said, "They make me cookies with green mothballs in them and I get sick."
Jason's snark: Ok, why GREEN mothballs? Now if she'd just said mothballs, well, that sounds pretty sane.
From The Associated Press
BARNSTABLE, Mass. — A Cape Cod man who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge on Monday, who referred the case to prosecutors for possible charges. ‘‘In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service,’’ Barnstable Superior Court Judge Gary Nickerson told Daniel Ellis, according to a preliminary court transcript of the exchange. Ellis, of Falmouth, had been called to court with about 60 other potential jurors for possible service on a 23-member grand jury. On a questionnaire that all potential jurors fill out, Ellis wrote that he didn’t like homosexuals and blacks. He then echoed those sentiments in an interview with Nickerson. ‘‘You say on your form that you’re not a fan of homosexuals,’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘That I’m a racist,’’ Ellis interrupted. ‘‘I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,’’ Ellis added. ‘‘I’m sorry?’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,’’ Ellis replied. ‘‘So, are you lying to me now?’’ Nickerson asked. ‘‘Well, I don’t know. I might be,’’ was the response. Ellis then admitted he really didn’t want to serve on a jury. ‘‘I have the distinct impression that you’re intentionally trying to avoid jury service,’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘That’s true,’’ Ellis answered. Nickerson ordered Ellis taken into custody. He was released later Monday morning. Ellis could face perjury and other charges.
Jason's snark: "I'm frequently found to be a liar, too." Yeah. That's a great way to get to know the judge.
From The Associated Press
KINGSTOWN, N.C. — A 5-year-old boy grabbed a rabid fox by the neck and pinned it to the ground during a family cookout, protecting six other children before his stepfather could kill the animal. ‘‘I wanted to protect my little brother,’’ said Rayshun McDowell, who battled the fox in the front yard of his home Sunday in Kingstown, a town about 50 miles west of Charlotte. The fox bit Rayshun in the leg, but the 61-pound-boy held the animal down for more than a minute. Animal control officials said Tuesday that test results confirmed the fox had rabies, which is fatal unless treated before symptoms appear. Rayshun is undergoing treatment. ‘‘I looked out the window and Rayshun had the fox by the neck and was pushing it into the ground,’’ said his mother, Shinda Linder. ‘‘I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.’’ Rayshun’s stepfather, Ryan Thompson, pulled the boy off the animal and kicked it. A neighbor fired a handgun three times but the fox continued to advance. Thompson, wearing a cast because of a broken leg, said he used a stick and his crutch to beat the fox to death. Rayshun, meanwhile, asked only for a Band-Aid and didn’t complain of any pain. ‘‘Rayshun was really calm and wasn’t upset,’’ his mother said. ‘‘I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. He was so brave, and I was a wreck.’’ Rabies attacks the nervous system and is transmitted through saliva. It often makes animals aggressive. A 6-year-old girl who was attacked by a fox the same day at her home nearby also is being treated.
Jason's snark: This kid is going for the Olympic Bearhanded Critter Wrasslin' gold.
From The Associated Press
DETROIT (AP) — An employee in the Detroit planning department who claims she is severely sensitive to perfumes and other cosmetics has sued the city, saying a co-worker’s strong fragrance prohibits her from working. Susan McBride’s lawsuit, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Detroit, says the work environment is in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. She wants a ban on such scents at work — and unspecified damages. City spokesman Matt Allen declined to comment, telling The Detroit News the city does not normally comment on litigation or personnel issues. McBride, who joined the planning department in 2000, says problems started a year ago when the co-worker, who isn’t identified in the lawsuit, transferred into her department. ‘‘This employee not only wore a strong scent, but also plugged in a scented room deodorizer,’’ the lawsuit states. ‘‘Ms. McBride was overcome by the smell almost instantly, causing her to go home sick.’’ The co-worker later agreed to stop using the room deodorizer, but kept using perfume, the lawsuit states.
Jason's snark: That stinks.
From Kansas.com
BONNER SPRINGS - Nearly 4,800 fluorescent yellow golf balls are missing from a suburban Kansas City golf course after someone raided its driving range.
Sunflower Hills Golf Course head professional Jeff Johnson said it would have taken someone hours Sunday night to pick the balls up from the range, where they were scattered after being hit earlier in the night.
He has no idea whether the theft was an expensive prank -- with an estimated loss of $2,700, the crime is considered a felony -- or if the culprits intend to try to sell the balls, with their big stripe and about half with Dr Pepper logos on them.
"That or they are some really bad golfers who need some range balls to practice with -- a lot to practice with," Johnson said.
He discovered the theft Monday morning when he went to set up the driving range and noticed that there were no balls in the landing area.
Someone had apparently driven a vehicle onto the range. The balls, Johnson said, would have filled a pickup truck's bed.
"It by far is not the weirdest thing I have seen," said Bonner Springs Police Detective Jay Oliver. "It is definitely offbeat. It is not a common occurrence."
Jason's snark: Yup, that heist took a lot of balls.
From Yahoo News
AMSTERDAM - Police officers in the Dutch city of Alkmaar were surprised to see a car passing by with a man sitting on a bicycle on its roof.
The driver and his wife, when stopped by the police, said they heard a noise while waiting at a traffic light, but did not realise they were taking on an extra passenger.
The 26 year-old man who took the free ride was fined for public drunkenness, not carrying an identity card and providing a false identity to the police.
Jason's snark: How can a driver not notice a bike and rider on the roof? Oh, yeah. It's Amsterdam.
By The Assoicated Press
POCATELLO, Idaho — Firefighters resuscitated four cats and an albino rat from a charred apartment in southeastern Idaho. The animals received oxygen through a special mask designed for small animals that the department got two years ago. Electrical failure likely caused the fire, which resulted in at least $10,000 in damage, fire officials said. No people were injured. Firefighter Kirby Jonas, who whisked the rat to safety, said he was astonished anything survived the flames that engulfed the apartment. He found the rat huddled in blackened bedding in a cage. ‘‘If I were betting money, I would have put down $10,000 that anything in that cage was dead,’’ Jonas said. Also in the room was a poster of an albino rat with a halo over its head, he said. One cat didn’t survive the blaze.
Jason's snark: The source of the fire was traced to a charcoal grill. Apparently the cats were just bbq'ing them a tasty rat.
