How bizarre, how bizarre.

From thedaily.com.au

It's official, Les Stewart has done something very bizarre.
A website which tracks odd happenings around the world, Oddee, has listed Les’ entry in the Guinness Book of World Records, as the third most bizarre world record of all time.
He spent 15 years, from 1983 to 1998, typing out all of the numbers from one to one million (in letters not numerals), simply because he “wanted something to do.”
And as far as Les is concerned, his recent recognition on the Oddee website could be his ticket to the big time.
“This is going to go all around the world,” he said.
“The (latest) Guinness Book of World Records will come out in the next month or two, so there’s going to be enormous publicity.”
But why on earth would anyone want to do what he’s done?
“It just came naturally to me,” he said.
“I got the record in 1983 for typing one to one million in numerals, but I kept on typing for 15 years after that.”
He typed for 20 minutes, “every waking hour”, on the hour until the mammoth task he had set himself was done.
But perhaps more bizarre than his world record achievement, is the fact that Les threw out all but two of the 19,890 pages he typed over those fifteen years.
“I just put them in the recycling bin, we’ve got too many things in the house,” he said.
“But I kept the first and the last page.”
Les was also named in the Guinness Book of World Records for putting the most number of stamps on a single envelope, three thousand- four hundred, to be exact.
He said he would like to continue attempting world records, but said the judging regime had become much stricter than it had been in the past.
“Any athlete will tell you, they’re getting harder every year,” he said.
But as Les said, he had probably already done his bit for the Guinness Book of World Records.
“I got my first world record in 1983 for typing, which is nearly 25 years ago, and not many Australians have done that,” he said.
“I’m a bit of a one of a kind.”

Jason's snark: Get a date, dood.

Estonian Road Rules, now in braille!

From Reuters

TALLINN - Police in the Baltic state of Estonia stopped a man who was driving erratically at the weekend, only to find he was blind.
The 20-year-old was driving in the southern city of Tartu early Sunday -- helped by instructions from his 16-year-old passenger.
"At first they thought he was just drunk, but the man kept missing the tube for the breath test, then they realized he was blind" and arrested him, Tartu Police spokeswoman Marge Kohtla said Monday.

Jason's snark: Didn't the white cane hanging out of the driver's side window tip the cops off?

How does one shank a sea lion?

Blog entry from Ryan Sabalow, Redding Record-Searchlight


"Although I don't think anyone should be out trying to prison shank sea lions, I confess I'm rather impressed that the guy could actually stab one, and in the heart, too.
With a steak knife." - Ryan Sabalow, Redding Record-Searchlight

From the AP via CNN via Fark.com:
NEWPORT BEACH, California (AP) -- A fisherman accused of stabbing a sea lion with a steak knife after the animal stole his bait has been arrested.
The sea lion, a six-foot female weighing about 150 pounds, was stabbed in the heart and was euthanized, said Dean Gomersall, animal care supervisor at the Pacific Marine Mammal Center in Laguna Beach.
"It's a horrible thing," Gomersall said. "My crew is extremely upset, and we're just glad the person was caught."
Hai Nguyen, 24, was fishing off a Newport pier about 12:30 p.m. Friday when the sea lion snatched the bait from his fishing pole.
"It was close enough so he could just reach out and stab it in the water," said Sgt. Evan Sailor, a police spokesman. "A number of people witnessed it and called police."

Jason's snark: Sabalow (one of my fave snarkers) wins with this one!

Dog accidentally shoots his owner in the back

From WMC TV

MEMPHIS - A dog and a gun combined for an unlikely scenario Wednesday morning in a house in the 3800 block of Kerwood.
Investigators said it all started while a group of friends were paying a visit to the owner of King George, a Great Dane.
The dog, excited to see the visitors, knocked a small caliber handgun off a table. The gun discharged, shooting King George's owner in the back.
The man was transported to The MED in critical condition. He is expected to be ok.
King George is not expected to face charges.
Great Danes are a breed of dog known for their giant size and gentle personality.

Jason's snark: (From the "Alternate Headline" category) Great Dane King George shoots owner despite lack of opposable thumbs -and you thought 'ol George was a Brit!

Chocoholic squirrel steals treats from Finnish shop

From Reuters via Yahoo News

HELSINKI - A Finnish squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled eggs.
"I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, told Reuters.
The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside.
"It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said.
Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added.
Squirrels have a well deserved reputation for being clever and adaptable animals. Many a home owner has seen the small rodents raiding their supposedly "squirrel-proof" bird feeders.

Jason's snark: You gotta wonder where this stash of squirrel-sized toys ends up.

Woman Accused Of Killing Neighbors Over Bad Cookies Found Insane

From WKMG Orlando

A 55-year-old Port Orange woman who said she killed her neighbors because their "green mothball cookies" made her sick was found not guilty of murder by reason of insanity, according to a judge.
A judge signed an order committing Linda Sue Anderson to a Florida Department of Children and Families facility.
Anderson told Port Orange police that she hated her neighbors, Robert Goerlich, 70, and his wife, Shirley, 68, because their cookies sickened her.
Both were found shot to death by a neighbor at their home located at 110 Gregory Circle.
A short time after the shooting, Anderson was taken into custody and charged with first-degree murder.
During questioning, Anderson told police, "I didn't see any blood or bullet holes in their clothing. …They are over there watching TV aren't they? I was shooting blanks."
Anderson also said, "They make me cookies with green mothballs in them and I get sick."

Jason's snark: Ok, why GREEN mothballs? Now if she'd just said mothballs, well, that sounds pretty sane.

Potential juror’s excuses that he’s racist, homophobic and a habitual liar could bring charges

From The Associated Press

BARNSTABLE, Mass. — A Cape Cod man who claimed he was homophobic, racist and a habitual liar to avoid jury duty earned an angry rebuke from a judge on Monday, who referred the case to prosecutors for possible charges. ‘‘In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service,’’ Barnstable Superior Court Judge Gary Nickerson told Daniel Ellis, according to a preliminary court transcript of the exchange. Ellis, of Falmouth, had been called to court with about 60 other potential jurors for possible service on a 23-member grand jury. On a questionnaire that all potential jurors fill out, Ellis wrote that he didn’t like homosexuals and blacks. He then echoed those sentiments in an interview with Nickerson. ‘‘You say on your form that you’re not a fan of homosexuals,’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘That I’m a racist,’’ Ellis interrupted. ‘‘I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,’’ Ellis added. ‘‘I’m sorry?’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,’’ Ellis replied. ‘‘So, are you lying to me now?’’ Nickerson asked. ‘‘Well, I don’t know. I might be,’’ was the response. Ellis then admitted he really didn’t want to serve on a jury. ‘‘I have the distinct impression that you’re intentionally trying to avoid jury service,’’ Nickerson said. ‘‘That’s true,’’ Ellis answered. Nickerson ordered Ellis taken into custody. He was released later Monday morning. Ellis could face perjury and other charges.

Jason's snark: "I'm frequently found to be a liar, too." Yeah. That's a great way to get to know the judge.

5-year-old pins rabid fox during family cookout to protect brother

From The Associated Press

KINGSTOWN, N.C. — A 5-year-old boy grabbed a rabid fox by the neck and pinned it to the ground during a family cookout, protecting six other children before his stepfather could kill the animal. ‘‘I wanted to protect my little brother,’’ said Rayshun McDowell, who battled the fox in the front yard of his home Sunday in Kingstown, a town about 50 miles west of Charlotte. The fox bit Rayshun in the leg, but the 61-pound-boy held the animal down for more than a minute. Animal control officials said Tuesday that test results confirmed the fox had rabies, which is fatal unless treated before symptoms appear. Rayshun is undergoing treatment. ‘‘I looked out the window and Rayshun had the fox by the neck and was pushing it into the ground,’’ said his mother, Shinda Linder. ‘‘I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.’’ Rayshun’s stepfather, Ryan Thompson, pulled the boy off the animal and kicked it. A neighbor fired a handgun three times but the fox continued to advance. Thompson, wearing a cast because of a broken leg, said he used a stick and his crutch to beat the fox to death. Rayshun, meanwhile, asked only for a Band-Aid and didn’t complain of any pain. ‘‘Rayshun was really calm and wasn’t upset,’’ his mother said. ‘‘I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. He was so brave, and I was a wreck.’’ Rabies attacks the nervous system and is transmitted through saliva. It often makes animals aggressive. A 6-year-old girl who was attacked by a fox the same day at her home nearby also is being treated.

Jason's snark: This kid is going for the Olympic Bearhanded Critter Wrasslin' gold.

Detroit employee sues city over co-worker’s perfume, saying strong fragrance stops her work

From The Associated Press

DETROIT (AP) — An employee in the Detroit planning department who claims she is severely sensitive to perfumes and other cosmetics has sued the city, saying a co-worker’s strong fragrance prohibits her from working. Susan McBride’s lawsuit, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Detroit, says the work environment is in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. She wants a ban on such scents at work — and unspecified damages. City spokesman Matt Allen declined to comment, telling The Detroit News the city does not normally comment on litigation or personnel issues. McBride, who joined the planning department in 2000, says problems started a year ago when the co-worker, who isn’t identified in the lawsuit, transferred into her department. ‘‘This employee not only wore a strong scent, but also plugged in a scented room deodorizer,’’ the lawsuit states. ‘‘Ms. McBride was overcome by the smell almost instantly, causing her to go home sick.’’ The co-worker later agreed to stop using the room deodorizer, but kept using perfume, the lawsuit states.

Jason's snark: That stinks.

Thieves truck off 4,800 golf balls in middle of night

From Kansas.com

BONNER SPRINGS - Nearly 4,800 fluorescent yellow golf balls are missing from a suburban Kansas City golf course after someone raided its driving range.
Sunflower Hills Golf Course head professional Jeff Johnson said it would have taken someone hours Sunday night to pick the balls up from the range, where they were scattered after being hit earlier in the night.
He has no idea whether the theft was an expensive prank -- with an estimated loss of $2,700, the crime is considered a felony -- or if the culprits intend to try to sell the balls, with their big stripe and about half with Dr Pepper logos on them.
"That or they are some really bad golfers who need some range balls to practice with -- a lot to practice with," Johnson said.
He discovered the theft Monday morning when he went to set up the driving range and noticed that there were no balls in the landing area.
Someone had apparently driven a vehicle onto the range. The balls, Johnson said, would have filled a pickup truck's bed.
"It by far is not the weirdest thing I have seen," said Bonner Springs Police Detective Jay Oliver. "It is definitely offbeat. It is not a common occurrence."

Jason's snark: Yup, that heist took a lot of balls.

Roof ride nets charges

From Yahoo News

AMSTERDAM - Police officers in the Dutch city of Alkmaar were surprised to see a car passing by with a man sitting on a bicycle on its roof.
The driver and his wife, when stopped by the police, said they heard a noise while waiting at a traffic light, but did not realise they were taking on an extra passenger.
The 26 year-old man who took the free ride was fined for public drunkenness, not carrying an identity card and providing a false identity to the police.

Jason's snark: How can a driver not notice a bike and rider on the roof? Oh, yeah. It's Amsterdam.

Rat, 4 cats rescued and resuscitated after Idaho apartment fire

By The Assoicated Press

POCATELLO, Idaho — Firefighters resuscitated four cats and an albino rat from a charred apartment in southeastern Idaho. The animals received oxygen through a special mask designed for small animals that the department got two years ago. Electrical failure likely caused the fire, which resulted in at least $10,000 in damage, fire officials said. No people were injured. Firefighter Kirby Jonas, who whisked the rat to safety, said he was astonished anything survived the flames that engulfed the apartment. He found the rat huddled in blackened bedding in a cage. ‘‘If I were betting money, I would have put down $10,000 that anything in that cage was dead,’’ Jonas said. Also in the room was a poster of an albino rat with a halo over its head, he said. One cat didn’t survive the blaze.

Jason's snark: The source of the fire was traced to a charcoal grill. Apparently the cats were just bbq'ing them a tasty rat.

Man Sets Fire To 4 Cars While Trying To Steal Gas

From WNBC New York

SELDEN, N.Y. -- A 38-year-old Long Island man is under arrest after he accidentally set fire to four cars at an automotive shop while trying to steal gasoline from one of them.
Suffolk County Police said that the Selden man was using a cordless power drill to bore into the bottom of the gas tank of a car parked at Sunrise Automotive in Islip when the fuel ignited.
The man was able to get from under the car unscathed, but the gasoline continued seeping out, spreading flames. Police said three cars were destroyed and a fourth damaged.

Jason's snark: Heard just before the explosion - "Dude, it won't explode. The drill's not even plugged in!"

Japan to get nursing home for pets

From Mainichi Daily News

Japan will get its first nursing home for dogs with round-the-clock monitoring by doctors and a team of puppies to help aging pooches feel younger, a pet products company said.
Owners pay 98,000 yen (US$800) a month to keep their dogs at the Soladi Care Home for pets, which opens Friday, according to a joint release Wednesday by Soladi Co. and the Endo Veterinary clinic in Tochigi, eastern Japan.
Veterinarians at the home will offer round-the-clock monitoring, and residents will be fed specially fortified food, the release said.
The home, which can accept 20 dogs at one time, will also employ puppies to play with the aging dogs to help them keep fit and feel younger, the release said.
Analysts say that a boom in pet ownership in Japan, coupled with better health care and a more balanced diet, has led to a surge in elderly pets in Japan.
That has spurred doting owners to turn to vitamins, aromatherapy and even acupuncture to help their companions through their old age.

Jason's snark: Can pet 401K plans be far behind?

Teary-eyed judge mourns pants

From The Associated Press

WASHINGTON — A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner. Administrative law judge Roy L. Pearson had argued earlier in his opening statement that he is acting in the interest of all city residents against poor business practices. Defense attorneys called his claim ‘‘outlandish.’’ He originally sued Custom Cleaners for about $65 million under the District of Columbia consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims. He is no longer seeking damages related to the pants, instead focusing his claims on two signs in the shop that have since been removed. He alleges that Jin Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung, owners of the mom-and-pop business, committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed ‘‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’’ and ‘‘Same Day Service.’’

Jason's Snark: Now we know what the judge wears under his robe.

Woman named Butts charged with theft of toilet paper from Iowa courthouse

From The Associated Press

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa — Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they’re chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison. ‘‘She’s facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper,’’ Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. ‘‘See, I can’t say it with a straight face.’’ Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said. Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said. Butts insisted it was the first time she’d pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney’s advice. The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state’s habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions. Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

Jason's snark: Sometimes you can't make these stories better if you try.

McDonald’s fries, Cheez Whiz scientist dies

From MSNBC

MADISON, Wis. - Edwin Traisman, a food scientist who created the process for freezing McDonald's french fries and helped develop Cheez Whiz, has died at age 91.
Traisman died Tuesday at the University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics following a heart attack, said his granddaughter Jenna Greene, of Chevy Chase, Md.
Born in Chicago on Nov. 25, 1915, to Latvian immigrants, Traisman was the only of six siblings to graduate from high school. He earned a bachelor's degree in chemistry from the University of Illinois in 1937.

Jason's snark: Folks, he was 91. I told you cheese fries were health food.

Michigan man in wheelchair takes wild ride lodged to truck’s front

From The Associated Press

PAW PAW, Mich. — A man was taken on a wild ride when his wheelchair became lodged in the grille of a semitrailer and was accidentally pushed down a highway for four miles at about 50 mph, authorities said. The 21-year-old man, whose name was not released, was unharmed but was taken to a hospital as a precaution. He had been secured to his wheelchair by a seat belt. ‘‘The man spilled his soda pop, but he wasn’t upset,’’ said Sgt. Kathy Morton of the Michigan State Police. About 4 p.m. Wednesday, a caller told police dispatchers, ‘‘You are not going to believe this: There is a semi truck pushing a guy in a wheelchair on Red Arrow Highway,’’ state police said in a release. Authorities initially wondered whether the report was a prank call until others called with similar reports. Officers stopped the truck — wheelchair still attached — at a trucking company. The driver didn’t believe officers until he stepped from his cab and saw for himself. ‘‘When he saw us, he was like, ’What’s going on?’’’ Morton said. An investigation revealed the man in the wheelchair had pulled in front of the truck at a gas station and it somehow became lodged by its handles to the front grille.

Jason's snark: Wish I could have been the dispatch officer taking that call.

Michigan man in wheelchair takes wild ride lodged to truck’s front

From The Associated Press

PAW PAW, Mich. (AP) — A man was taken on a wild ride when his wheelchair became lodged in the grille of a semitrailer and was accidentally pushed down a highway for four miles at about 50 mph, authorities said. The 21-year-old man, whose name was not released, was unharmed but was taken to a hospital as a precaution. He had been secured to his wheelchair by a seat belt. ‘‘The man spilled his soda pop, but he wasn’t upset,’’ said Sgt. Kathy Morton of the Michigan State Police. About 4 p.m. Wednesday, a caller told police dispatchers, ‘‘You are not going to believe this: There is a semi truck pushing a guy in a wheelchair on Red Arrow Highway,’’ state police said in a release. Authorities initially wondered whether the report was a prank call until others called with similar reports. Officers stopped the truck — wheelchair still attached — at a trucking company. The driver didn’t believe officers until he stepped from his cab and saw for himself. ‘‘When he saw us, he was like, ’What’s going on?’’’ Morton said. An investigation revealed the man in the wheelchair had pulled in front of the truck at a gas station and it somehow became lodged by its handles to the front grille.

Jason's snark: Wish I could have been the dispatch officer taking that call.

81-year old Los Angeles woman found living with about 120 pet rats

From The Associated Press

LOS ANGELES — Officers seized more than 100 pet rats, dozens of rabbits and other animals including several birds from the home of an 81-year-old woman, who was later treated at a hospital for what appeared to be bites, authorities said. ‘‘The woman had no food in the house for herself and seemed disoriented,’’ said Annette Ramirez, an officer with the city’s Animal Services Department. ‘‘Her arms were covered with open wounds apparently caused by animal bites.’’ Animal control officers discovered the scene while investigating a report Monday of unkempt conditions at a home in suburban Wilmington. In all, they found about 120 rats, 25 rabbits, six parakeets, a dog, a quail and a cockatiel, she said. The woman, identified as Wanda Langstom, was overwhelmed by how quickly the rats reproduced, Ramirez said. ‘‘She said it just started with two but it got out of hand,’’ Ramirez said. Most of the animals were in fair condition, but two rabbits needed medical attention. They will all be available for adoption after being treated by a veterinarian, she said.

Jason's snark: Great news: 120 rats will soon be available for adoption. Being L.A., they'll probably find good homes.