NASA Announces First Mime in Space

From the Weekly World News

HOUSTON, Tex. -- NASA has named its first mime in space, Jacques Tatitov, who will perform in the vacuum outside the International Space Station.
The mime has been characteristically tight-lipped about his space routine, which is rumored to include exercises such as 'Walking Against the Solar Wind' and 'Unpeeling a Banana-Flavored Thermostabilized Pudding Ration.'
"Such a mission has always been my dream," Tatitov announced in an email from the Johnson Space Center. "The ultimate aim of Mime is to perform in the perfect silence of space."
NASA, too, has looked forward to the mime-in-orbit program for years--and not just as a spaceborne entertainment.
"There's an enormous opportunity here for cutting costs," said mission director Beja Keflavik. "Tatitov won't need a radio--he communicates brilliantly without words. And during his spacewalk, he'll be pulling himself along an invisible tether, which means we won't have to spring for an umbilicus or rocket pack."
The mime's titanium-dioxide face paint will reflect harmful solar radiation into space, and his skintight black-and-white pressure suit will feature a suspender-mounted life-support pack and a jaunty space beret. Tatitov said he is concerned that the suit -- which has been stripped-down to allow flexibility -- will be vulnerable to micrometeroid impacts.
"For most of my performance, I shall be trapped in an invisible box, which should afford some protection," he said. "Besides--I'm used to being pelted with rocks--even in my performances on Earth."

Jason's snark: It's a very forward-thinking plan which can only benefit mankind. Oh, yeah. APRIL FOOLS!